Bitching

I'm getting real freaking antsy about the sheriffs. Wish I'd get that call to go on with the rest of my application process. If it weren't for the damned hiring freeze, there would have been a class at the end of January and I would have been in it! I had my heart set on being with the sheriffs BEFORE Mardi Gras. Well, MG has come and gone and now we're looking down the barrel of St. Pats. Still no word from the sheriffs.

I just need something new. And I want law enforcement. And while I'm trying to play patient, I want it now. Alas, I dragged my ass and didn't apply until last November. Although I was interested in it LAST FREAKIN SUMMER. I did it with NOPD, too. Started asking questions in May of '07...didn't apply until that October. I think fear made me hesitate. Now I'm kicking myself because I could have already been training LAST year! Ya can't change the past. So there's no real reason to regret it. But I do. I could already be in academy at this point! Maybe...but I would have definitely been in by now. My fault. And my punishment is having to wait for this hiring freeze to be lifted. And who knows when that will happen.

Sigh...a few bad apples spoil the barrel. It's just a few employees that act out. But man, they really act out when it happens. Makes me dread going to work. Makes me cringe to even look at them or hear their voices. Overall, I really do love my job. But some days I just wanna throttle someone. Even though I do like this job, it is time to move on. I don't want to make anyone feel bad by saying that. It's just natural for me. There's nothing more I feel that I can do. And I wanna get my hands more dirty when it comes to dealing with the "suspects" in our area. I want to be able to physically handle someone. In our job, we can't. I'm ready to take the plunge and get into the force. Some say, "why not return to NOPD?"...good question and my good friends know why. And I'm not shutting the door on them forever. Just...I want to try the sheriffs now.

I don't know if I'm going through a depression or what. But I've had zero motivation around the house. Particularly, the laundry. Oh dear gawd, I just can't bring myself to do it. Now there's lazy and then there's THIS lazy. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't organize my room or thoughts these days.

At least I have been making an effort to take my iron and lots of vitamin C. This f***kn flu/cold deal is still lingering and I've been coughin up a lung every night. Makes sleeping a real b*tch! I'm hoping it gets the hint and goes away soon. Another thing that needs to end is this COLD WEATHER. WTF?!!!

Now the forecast says it'll warm up drastically come Thursday...but that doesn't help Wednesday. I'm tired of bundling up. I'm tired of it being so cold I can't fathom stepping outside on my day off. I want the warmth, dammit!

On a lighter note, I'm excited about St. Pats and especially the Irish Channel parade on the 14th. Wee!!!! I freakin LOVE that parade and thinks it's actually much better than most of the MG parades...more walking krewes, more and better throws. I mean seriously, how can you beat FOOD?!

Anyways...now I must attempt to sleep. I wonder if Sam will read this??? After all, I re~activated this for him. MOOOO!!!!